She sits inside an empty room. She stares into the emptiness of it all, wondering why she is the way she is. Why is she filled with anxiety?
“What do you want from me? I’ve crawled into the emptiest room and yet you still send worries through me.” Evelyn says to her Anxiety.
“Oh, sweet child, I never stop.”
“But, why?”
“Because everything causes anxiety.”
“It doesn’t have to!” She screams while cupping her hands over her ears.
“Oh, but it does. Tell me how would it not?”
“I can be positive. I can stop over thinking.”
“True. It can be done, but can it last? Can you defend me? I am a villain without a body of my own. You are my host. Where will I go if I don’t have you? I need you Evelyn.”
“No you don’t. You don’t need me. I don’t need you.”
“Are you breaking up with me, Eve?”
“Y-yes. I think I am.” She screams with a touch of confidence.
“Are you sure about that, Eve? I’ve been with you for years; don’t you love me?”
“I can’t love you. You are a toxic part of my thoughts, you need to leave. I need to be free!” She rocks back and forth still cupping her hands over her ears. “I need to be free of the pain you cause me!” She screams into the dark and empty room.
“Evelyn, sweetie, you’re nothing without me. I am you!” Anxiety screams in her ears, so loud that they are ringing. The ringing won’t stop, it is growing louder and louder. Evelyn scrambles to her feet, hands stretched out in front of her, reaching for the door knob. She is almost free, then the pain rings louder and her body sinks to the floor. He palms rest on the doorknob, no strength to twist the knob to freedom. She screams over the noise, as if someone else can hear the ringing like it was a phone’s ringer.
“You aren’t me. You aren’t me. You are the pain that lives in me, but I can get past the hurting and the ringing! I can win! I will win!” She screams into the room as she bends her knees to her stomach, willing someone, anyone to come find her. “I can beat this, I can beat this!”
“Oh, honey, aren’t you the brave type.” Anxiety laughs in Evelyn’s ears and the ringing becomes unbearable.
“I can!” Evelyn screams as everything goes completely pitch black around her.
“Sweetie, baby, wake up.” Someone says as Evelyn tries to open her eyes. “Are you okay? I’m here, you aren’t alone.” The voice comes with strong arms that wrap around her waist and tightly hug her.
Evelyn’s eyes open and she finds the face of her boyfriend, Thomas, holding her and staring into her eyes. His baby blue eyes blink twice and hug her even tighter as he realizes she’s awake.
ABOUT THE POET
Emily Craig graduated from the University of North Alabama with her English, Professional Writing Degree in 2018. Since graduating, she has two self-published poetry collections, “Pieces of My Heart” and “Loving Myself.” She has poetry published by Nightingale and Sparrow, Royal Rose, and Marias at Sampaguitas on Instagram. While also having poems in Marias at Sampaguitas Issue 1 and Nightingale and Sparrow Issue 2.
Links to her collections, writing updates, blog, and published poems for literary magazines are on her website: www.emilycraigodyssey.wixsite.com/writer.
Twitter: @emilycraig44
Instagram: @emnicolecraig
Facebook: Emily Nicole Craig Writer Facebook Page: Emily Craig
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